Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
