Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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