Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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