so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
