whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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