i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
