girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
