3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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