i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
