problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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