I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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