I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
