Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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