Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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