Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize