I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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