I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
