two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need to calm my uterus...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize