Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
