There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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