My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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