I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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