i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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