just survived the first fart of the relationship.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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