I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
