ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
