Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
