Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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