he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
