She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
