i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
