shes about as inviting as chlamydia
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
