champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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