woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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