She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
