tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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