it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
