Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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