If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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