I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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