Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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