what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
