the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
