Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
