that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
