Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Watching her eat just hurts me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
