New invention idea: vibrating tampons
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize