Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
