Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
