I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.