this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.