umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
