Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
