First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize