yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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