you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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