What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
