how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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