she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
