tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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