My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
