She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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