She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So many bounce houses so little time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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