I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
