Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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