she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
