maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
