friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
