We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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